American Haircuts
Dave, You Old Douchebag
Thursday, June 25th, 2009 | American Haircuts | No Comments
So, not long ago I decided to venture outside the protective asphalt ring around Atlanta known as ‘the perimeter’ (this act is called “going OTP” for those outside of Atlanta). Normally, I wouldn’t have braved the ‘burbs just to go to a bar, but since Novare dropped a condo building on McCray’s Sixth Street Tavern, I had to venture out to see my favorite bartender, Alli. Believe me, it’s worth the trip.
Made with iPhone's d-bagifier application.
When I arrived at McCray’s OTP location in Smyrna, I plopped down at the bar next to this girl who looked suspiciously like Reese Witherspoon (only with darker hair). Cute girl. I smiled and said, “Hi.” She looked back at me and said flatly, “douchebag.” Huh? Most people don’t call me that until they get to know me better. ”Why’d you call me a douchbag, bitch?” ”Because all men are douchebags and I just wanted to get it out of the way.” That was the start of a beautiful evening.
Between shots from Alli at the bar and zingers back and forth between Reese, uh, Brooke (that’s her actual name, but we dubbed her “Babbling Brook” because the girl sure could talk) we had a great time. Although one of the other bartenders (a cute girl named Jessica) was determined to see if she could make me pass out and/or hurl by bringing me shots of the oddest concoctions ever. If you’re ever there and she asks you to try something called “Wild Yellow Tailed Monkey Jungle Sex,” pass.
Is there actually a point to this blog?
Ahhh, yes. When my head did eventually clear (which took weeks), I got to thinking about Re-Brook’s “douchebag” comment. Well, I’ve never considered myself a douchbag. A$%hole, probably. Mut&^%%$cker, maybe. But certainly not douchebag. Can’t afford the bling. To me, a DB is one of those guys who walks around in a wifebeater with the ballcap cocked slightly to the side (even though he’s a bit too old to work the look) and never thinks before speaking. Huh. That sounds kinda like my buddy, Kris. I really like that guy. Does that make me guilty of douchebaggery or aiding a abetting a douche?
Again, I digress.
So how, exactly, does one avoid being a douchebag?
- Keep your ego in check. Even if your shit actually doesn’t stink, pretend it does. Modesty, believe it or not, is quite an attractive quality on a guy.
- Don’t be an attention whore. People who seem to always seek the limelight are, quite often, the biggest douchebags. Spencer Pratt is a fine example of this. The greatest men are those you almost never hear anything about.
- Go easy on the grooming products. Of course, we want you to buy our quality grooming products, but if you’ve got more product in your hair than your girlfriend, you look like a douchebag. Trust us.
- Ease off on the cologne. A spritz or two will do. If you’ve been jogging through the park for an hour on a nintety degree day and you still smell like AXE Body Spray, you’re guilty of douchbaggery. Sorry, Kris. Again.
- Go light on the bling. If the faux diamond studs you wear in your ears are bigger than those on the girl sitting next to you at the bar, your a douche. Sorry, Jamie.
- Pull up your damn pants! If your pants reveal more than even the slightest bit of your drawers, you are most defintaly a DB. I just don’t quite understand those guys who wear their pants below their ass cheeks (while holding them up with one hand). That can’t be comfortable and always makes you look like a clown.
- Check your hat. Bend the bill of the hat a bit — if it’s too flat and cocked at a 45 degree angle, you’re a douche. If you ever wear a visor, you’re a douche. Steve Spurrier wears a visor. ’Nuff said.
- Watch your wheels. If your car costs more than your house… yup. You know what you are.
- Put your collar down. One of the signature DB fashion statements is the Polo shirt with the popped collar. Put that collar up, especially if you’re wearing multiple Polos at once, and it’s a sure sign that you could be a douche.
- Don’t treat women like dirt. Most douchebags believe that women are on this earth only for the entertainment of men. Be a gentleman and treat your woman with respect.
Are you guilty of any of the signature douchebag moves above? Stop it. You’re making a fool of yourself! Now, go get a haircut.
Playing “Marco Polo”
Sunday, March 1st, 2009 | American Haircuts | 1 Comment
These are comments from a guy named Marco who came into our American Haircuts midtown store today:
“I had gone before to American Haircuts and was impressed by the quality. I decided I would make it my hair salon of choice. When I returned today I was welcomed and waited my turn. When the barber called my name “Marco”. Somebody shouted “Polo”. There was some laughter even among the staff.
This is completely unacceptable: I do not appreciate being insulted when I purchase a service. I visited hair salons in most countries in Europe, and some in Asia and Northern America. This was the first time I needed to leave before my haircut because I felt humiliated. Needless to say I will never come back again, no matter what you say and I will warn all my acquaintances.”
First, we’re not a salon. Second, grow a pair and lighten up, dammit. Had you stuck around, you might have left with one of the best haircuts you’ve ever had and maybe even had a few laughs, too. Go back to those European Salons, get laid, and then come back and see us when you’re feeling a bit more manly. You’ll be glad you did.
American Haircuts | Midtown Now Open
Thursday, November 20th, 2008 | American Haircuts | No Comments
Finally! We’re now open for business in incredible new midtown store. Stop by and check it out — have a glass of Scotch and get a great cut!
We’re extremely proud of the new shop, which is about 800 square feet larger than Roswell. We’ve also added an internet bar, a wider selection of complimentary beverages, and flat panel televisions which can be watched while waiting or while getting your haircut. We’re also pleased to announce we’ve assembled the best haircutting team in the city of Atlanta!
Click HERE to take a look around!
Is That A Pole On Your Building Or Are You Just Happy To See Me!?
Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 | American Haircuts | No Comments
It’s not a barbershop until there’s a pole on the building. Well, here goes! It’s up!
Here’s a gruesome bit of trivia… do you know what the stripes on the barber pole represent? Years ago when barbers were “barber-surgeons,” we used to do a little bloodletting now and then. The stripes represent bandages; red for the blood-stained and white for the clean bandages. These were hung to dry after washing. The bandages would often twist in the wind to form a spiral pattern. These bandages, hanging outside a barber’s shop, became a symbol of the barbering profession. The bandages were later replaced by the red, white, and blue striped poles we use today. The bowl at the bottom of the pole was used to receive the blood during bloodletting.
Our new barber pole, the Marvy 88 is made by the William Marvy Company (now the sole manufacturer of barber poles in North America), a company which has been making barber poles since New Year’s Day in 1950. When ordering the pole, Dave spoke with Scott Marvy personally to make sure we had exactly the pole we needed. It’s a great thing the business is still in the family — let’s hope the Marvy tradition continues.
One tradition we’re glad didn’t continue is the whole bloodletting thing — unless, of course, you end up in Cory’s chair in Roswell.
An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.
Saturday, July 5th, 2008 | American Haircuts, Random Thoughts | No Comments
So this one’s really got me hot under the collar. We were recently asked by one of the companies whose products we carry if we would like to be included in a feature about their shaving products in the Atlantan magazine.
Of course, being the publicity whores that we are, we jumped at the chance and sent them the required information and prepared to place a large order of their product to be ready for the masses that the Atlantanwould surely bring in. Foolish us. Here was the Atlantan’s response:
“I think we’re going to have to pass on including it in our coverage. We focus on the high-end demographic, and American Haircuts isn’t the kind of place our readers would frequent.” Huh? Pretentious pricks.
American Haircuts isn’t the kind of place their readers would frequent? Our shop is an upscale barbershop in Roswell where men can get a great haircut or hot shave, have fun and real conversation, and maybe even be treated to a shot of 18 year old single malt scotch. The demograpics in our area are right in line with the target markets the Atlantan lists in their media kit. Our shop is patronized by high powered executives from many Atlanta corporations, an award winning movie writer and producer, local auto executives, and two legendary pro baseball players. Guys who far exceed the Atlantan’s target demographic and could probably write a check on the spot to buy the whole damned magazine. These guys come into our shop for a dose of reality - to relax and get away from all of the “politically correct” bullshit and to interact with regular guys as well as those who hold similar positions. It’s the kind of place where men can be men and decompress from their stressful lives. Exactly the kind of place the male segment of the Atlantan’s demographic would appreciate.
Could it be that American Haircuts only charges $20 for a man’s haircut instead of $75? Or that we’re not located in thug infested Buckhead? It sounds to me like the Atlantan is probably a little out of touch with what their demographic is reallyafter. I hope our current shop or future shops never become the kind of places that fit into their vision of what men want. Thank god our clients aren’t that pretentious.
I have to admit, I’ve only casually flipped through the Atlantan and put it down after I found the countless ads for cosmetic surgery and condos a bit dull - although I did find a great place for some teeth whitening and it sure looks pretty on my coffee table right next to the Guns and Ammo.
Hey, guys… let me know where you want this truckload of manure delivered.
Really Great Service Means Sometimes Pissing a Few People Off
Monday, March 17th, 2008 | American Haircuts, Random Thoughts | No Comments
As a result of a recent blog post on balding, I had a somewhat terse response from a man named Jerry who accused me of not always doing what a client wants. That exchange prompted me to think about what really great service means.
I’ve trained shop owners in customer service and have even posted a fairly lengthy article on service on our “brother” site, haircutsformen.org (READ PAGE HERE). Our Atlanta shop is, in all likelihood, the busiest shop in metro Atlanta and our client retention is through the roof. But what makes it so?
Great customer service in a barbershop or salon includes: always making the client feel welcome, making sure the client is comfortable, giving a great cut and knowing your products, and being dependable and consistent. I think it also means pissing a few people off once in awhile. Let me explain…
As barbers and hair stylists, we’re paid to make people look their best. We’re trained to know how the shape of a cut can enhance or detract from key facial features as well as the advantages and limitations of different hair types and how to cut and style the hair to its best advantage. Often, clients see a cool haircut on an actor or athlete and think that cut is the way to go when, in reality, it can often be the worst option for their face and hair. Is good service doing what the client wants contrary to what training tells us we should do? I don’t think so. As a barber, I would rather refuse service to a client than do something that I feel will make him look like a dumbass. Is that good customer service? I believe it is. In our shop, we take a great deal of pride in offering outstanding quality and realize that every cut leaving the shop is our signature - our reputation - and we’re not willing to sacrifice that to make a quick buck.
In our shop, we don’t follow the old favorite slogan “the customer is always right.” I don’t believe this is the case. All too often, in this industry and others, we fall into this misguided belief that we must do everything to make everyone happy all of the time - even if it means disrupting an environment or putting up with someone who’s being a prick. In doing so, I think we often create environments that are “antiseptic” and not very satisfying to anyone. This is one of the reasons I’m no longer in the corporate franchise business. It seems that shops which try to be everything to everybody often fail. It’s important to focus on what you’re really good at and do it consistently well. This means sometimes turning a client away.
For example, the focus of our Atlanta shop is adult men. To that end, we do everything we can to make a man feel comfortable and enjoy his experience with us. For that reason, we don’t cut the hair of children who are crying (well behaved kids are always welcome) because it disrupts the atmosphere and frankly, most men don’t want to hear it. Sure, we’ve had some pissed off parents storm out of our shop, but in doing so we’ve made the environment comfortable to our core market - adult men. Most franchised stores will require their barbers and stylists to put up with the wailing and do everything possible to complete the service and get that cash. In doing so, I think they’re sacrificing customer service for a quick buck. Why irritate a shop full of men for the sake of one misbehaving child? We also don’t put up with clients who are disrespectful and those who can’t take a joke. Such people make other clients and staff uncomfortable. We strive to always maintain a fun “real” atmosphere where a guy can cut up, relax, and have a good time. Assholes don’t fit well into our environment and we’d rather them go somewhere else. Most of our clients find this attitude refreshing. Those who don’t are likely those that fall into the group that we don’t want to serve in the first place.
Is this good customer service? I believe it is. By turing away a few clients who don’t “fit in” with the atmosphere of our shop means that we create a better environment for our target market - adult men who know the value of great haircut served up with a good joke or two (and the occasional shot of 18 year old single malt).
I believe “the customer is right when the customer is right” and when he’s being a prick, I’ll tell him as much.
- Dave