Random Thoughts
Record Breaking Haircutting
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008 | Random Thoughts | No Comments
This past weekend, along with Greg Martin, I had the unique opportunity to serve as an official judge for the Guinness Book of World Records as Andis’ Ivan Zoot attempted to break three world records in haircutting. Not only did he break them, he obliterated them. Here are the new records:
• Fastest Haircut - 55 Seconds
• Most Haircuts in One Hour - 34
• Most Haircuts in 24 Hours - 340
This guy is the Michael Phelps of barbering. For photos and a complete recap of the event, check out my full article on About.com.
Drunken Thoughts
Monday, September 8th, 2008 | Nutrition, Random Thoughts | No Comments
I was sitting in my neighbor hood pub a couple of days ago having a session with my therapist Dr. Johnny Walker. He and I were discussing the lack of an Atlanta Braves Game and how boring summer TV is. One of us noticed a couple of 20 something’s on he other end of the bar watching American Gladiators. So I move down to see what was going on and to chat with Avery, one of the guys watching the show. Turns out these guys are all total freaks about this show because they watched it as a kid. Even the waiters were popping by to get updates from Avery about each Gladiator Task.
Johnny and I are bored so we settle in with Avery and company to check this out. I see nothing but trim young men and women going through the tasks at hand. Suddenly it becomes apparent the winners will ultimately face the real Gladiators for a final showdown. They bring out the Gladiators. I turn to Avery and ask, “Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?” Blank stare. Damn, this guy is young. I digress… These gladiators are huge hunks of men with chiseled bodies and Farah Faucet hair (just like in the 80’s). They go through the stats… 6’7” / 235 pounds… this is where I had the epiphany.
These guys weigh the same as me, but they’ve got me a foot in height. I have been fighting the weight loss battle for years — focusing on loosing weight by eating right, exercising, etc.. You know the drill.
I’ve finally found the solution! I don’t need to loose weight I just need to be 14 inches taller.
The more I talk with Dr. Walker the more I realize I have found the ultimate answer to weight loss. This is my Cabbage Patch Doll!
I throw some cash on the bar and leave Johnny Walker like a cheap hooker and dash home to do my research. I’ve decided I’ll team up with the Cortislim folks and market Cortislim Tall! I’m sure those Cortislim folks got rich from selling a quality product that, when used as directed, works wonders.
I Google “how to get taller.” Wow! Millions of hits. Number one is 4 inches taller in one heartbeat. Click. It’s shoes. Damn. Won’t work. I need my belly to get smaller not further off the floor. I need something that will stretch this mutherf’er out! I’ve checked out a thousand websites by now and nothing but snake oil.
We can make a phone that holds 25,000 songs, a GPS, a camera, and high speed internet in a device the size of a deck of cards and we can make jelly beans that taste like buttered popcorn and not one person has ever invented a pill to make you taller.
This is, to say the least, very disappointing.
I guess it’s back to the 1,500 calorie diet and Men’s Science Thermogenic Formula tomorrow. I should have stayed for a bit more therapy. See you tomorrow night, Dr. Walker.
The High Cost of Good Grooming
Sunday, August 31st, 2008 | Random Thoughts | No Comments
So I had this client a few days ago — we’ll call him Steve Jasper (actually, that’s his name). It was Steve’s first visit to our shop and he seemed nervous. Normally, people don’t start getting nervous until they get to know us a little better.
What the hell are you so nervous about,” I asked. “Well, uh, it’s just that I’ve never had a haircut at one of these budget places,” he responded. Budget places? At $20 for haircut, I’ve never had our shop compared to a budget place. “I’m used to paying $50 for a haircut,” Steve told me. I combed through the haircut — which was not very well blended, shaped or finished — and responded, “For this?”
Steve, like so many other guys who are a bit pompous — sorry, Steve — often believe that price equals quality. Choosing a barber can be lot like shopping for wine. I’ve had some great $19 bottles of wine and some really shitty $100 wines. It all depends on the quality of the grape and the skill of the vintner. A good haircut depends entirely on the skill of the barber, regardless of price.
Recently, I had the chance to sample a new “upscale” shop which opened in Atlanta. Interesting place — very dark and sterile. The cutting floor was so damned dark I didn’t feel comfortable with them using sharp objects around my head, so instead of the $60 haircut, I opted for the $35 Executive Manicure. When the manicurist was finished, my nails looked like I’d chewed them off myself. The Korean lady down the block does a much better job for just $14. Yeah, so I sometimes get a manicure — doesn’t make me less of a man. My buddy Alan irons his sheets. Now that’s girly!
Of course, there are some exceptionally good $50 a cut barbers out there — just as there are some outstanding barbers who charge around 20 bucks. There are also some butchers on both sides of the price range. So, how do you find a good barber that fits your budget? Well, of course, you can come to an American Haircuts® store. If you don’t live near us, just find a guy with a similar haircut and ask him where he gets cut. Look for shops that are clean, modern and well staffed. Shops which offer appointments are more likely to be the types of places that will spend an adequate amount of time to make sure the job is done right.
Stay away from any place with Super, Great, Fantastic or Clips in the name. Also avoid any place which spells cut with a “k.” That’s just my opinion, but it’s served me well.
Of course, if you visit our store, we pledge to always hire skilled haircutters who will give you a great haircut and make sure you have a good time for a fair price.
Dave Alexander is a partner in Metro Men’s Grooming and American Haircuts as well as the Men’s Hair Guide for About.com.
An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.
Saturday, July 5th, 2008 | American Haircuts, Random Thoughts | No Comments
So this one’s really got me hot under the collar. We were recently asked by one of the companies whose products we carry if we would like to be included in a feature about their shaving products in the Atlantan magazine.
Of course, being the publicity whores that we are, we jumped at the chance and sent them the required information and prepared to place a large order of their product to be ready for the masses that the Atlantanwould surely bring in. Foolish us. Here was the Atlantan’s response:
“I think we’re going to have to pass on including it in our coverage. We focus on the high-end demographic, and American Haircuts isn’t the kind of place our readers would frequent.” Huh? Pretentious pricks.
American Haircuts isn’t the kind of place their readers would frequent? Our shop is an upscale barbershop in Roswell where men can get a great haircut or hot shave, have fun and real conversation, and maybe even be treated to a shot of 18 year old single malt scotch. The demograpics in our area are right in line with the target markets the Atlantan lists in their media kit. Our shop is patronized by high powered executives from many Atlanta corporations, an award winning movie writer and producer, local auto executives, and two legendary pro baseball players. Guys who far exceed the Atlantan’s target demographic and could probably write a check on the spot to buy the whole damned magazine. These guys come into our shop for a dose of reality - to relax and get away from all of the “politically correct” bullshit and to interact with regular guys as well as those who hold similar positions. It’s the kind of place where men can be men and decompress from their stressful lives. Exactly the kind of place the male segment of the Atlantan’s demographic would appreciate.
Could it be that American Haircuts only charges $20 for a man’s haircut instead of $75? Or that we’re not located in thug infested Buckhead? It sounds to me like the Atlantan is probably a little out of touch with what their demographic is reallyafter. I hope our current shop or future shops never become the kind of places that fit into their vision of what men want. Thank god our clients aren’t that pretentious.
I have to admit, I’ve only casually flipped through the Atlantan and put it down after I found the countless ads for cosmetic surgery and condos a bit dull - although I did find a great place for some teeth whitening and it sure looks pretty on my coffee table right next to the Guns and Ammo.
Hey, guys… let me know where you want this truckload of manure delivered.
Really Great Service Means Sometimes Pissing a Few People Off
Monday, March 17th, 2008 | American Haircuts, Random Thoughts | No Comments
As a result of a recent blog post on balding, I had a somewhat terse response from a man named Jerry who accused me of not always doing what a client wants. That exchange prompted me to think about what really great service means.
I’ve trained shop owners in customer service and have even posted a fairly lengthy article on service on our “brother” site, haircutsformen.org (READ PAGE HERE). Our Atlanta shop is, in all likelihood, the busiest shop in metro Atlanta and our client retention is through the roof. But what makes it so?
Great customer service in a barbershop or salon includes: always making the client feel welcome, making sure the client is comfortable, giving a great cut and knowing your products, and being dependable and consistent. I think it also means pissing a few people off once in awhile. Let me explain…
As barbers and hair stylists, we’re paid to make people look their best. We’re trained to know how the shape of a cut can enhance or detract from key facial features as well as the advantages and limitations of different hair types and how to cut and style the hair to its best advantage. Often, clients see a cool haircut on an actor or athlete and think that cut is the way to go when, in reality, it can often be the worst option for their face and hair. Is good service doing what the client wants contrary to what training tells us we should do? I don’t think so. As a barber, I would rather refuse service to a client than do something that I feel will make him look like a dumbass. Is that good customer service? I believe it is. In our shop, we take a great deal of pride in offering outstanding quality and realize that every cut leaving the shop is our signature - our reputation - and we’re not willing to sacrifice that to make a quick buck.
In our shop, we don’t follow the old favorite slogan “the customer is always right.” I don’t believe this is the case. All too often, in this industry and others, we fall into this misguided belief that we must do everything to make everyone happy all of the time - even if it means disrupting an environment or putting up with someone who’s being a prick. In doing so, I think we often create environments that are “antiseptic” and not very satisfying to anyone. This is one of the reasons I’m no longer in the corporate franchise business. It seems that shops which try to be everything to everybody often fail. It’s important to focus on what you’re really good at and do it consistently well. This means sometimes turning a client away.
For example, the focus of our Atlanta shop is adult men. To that end, we do everything we can to make a man feel comfortable and enjoy his experience with us. For that reason, we don’t cut the hair of children who are crying (well behaved kids are always welcome) because it disrupts the atmosphere and frankly, most men don’t want to hear it. Sure, we’ve had some pissed off parents storm out of our shop, but in doing so we’ve made the environment comfortable to our core market - adult men. Most franchised stores will require their barbers and stylists to put up with the wailing and do everything possible to complete the service and get that cash. In doing so, I think they’re sacrificing customer service for a quick buck. Why irritate a shop full of men for the sake of one misbehaving child? We also don’t put up with clients who are disrespectful and those who can’t take a joke. Such people make other clients and staff uncomfortable. We strive to always maintain a fun “real” atmosphere where a guy can cut up, relax, and have a good time. Assholes don’t fit well into our environment and we’d rather them go somewhere else. Most of our clients find this attitude refreshing. Those who don’t are likely those that fall into the group that we don’t want to serve in the first place.
Is this good customer service? I believe it is. By turing away a few clients who don’t “fit in” with the atmosphere of our shop means that we create a better environment for our target market - adult men who know the value of great haircut served up with a good joke or two (and the occasional shot of 18 year old single malt).
I believe “the customer is right when the customer is right” and when he’s being a prick, I’ll tell him as much.
- Dave
The New Cure for Baldness!
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 | Hair Loss, Random Thoughts, Shaving | 1 Comment
So, I had a guy come into my barbershop with a comb-over. Not just any comb-over. This thing was a masterwork that started just above his right ear and swirled artfully around his entire bald head.After what seemed like hours of negotiation, I just could not convince him to cut it off. 
Does this guy think he’s fooling anyone? Does he look in the mirror each morning after creating his hair art and say to himself, “whew, now nobody knows I’m bald”? More importantly, does the guy think this hairstyle’s going to help him get laid!? The sad part of this story is that he’s not an old guy. Only about 35ish and, from the forehead down, a pretty good looking guy. I can’t understand why he thinks this looks good. He told me he’d tried everything. Pills, creams, shampoos, herbal remedies, voodoo…. but nothing worked. I know one thing he hasn’t - won’t - try… a good haircut. Take a look at Bruce Willis, Jason Stratham, Patrick Stewart, Sean Connery. All bald. And all men that most women would hop in the sack with in a moment’s notice. Guys if you’re losing it, do the world a favor and just own up to it. Please, for the love of God, please save us from having to try to carry on a conversation with you without making a concentrated effort to look you in the eye instead of staring at those few remaining hold-outs plastered to the top of your head! Run to your nearest barber now and cut it off!